Voted Queso-Related Website of the Year in 1993

World Wide Web, meet the NachoTron 3000.

The NachoTron 3000 is a seamless fusion of science, sport and nachos. Fueled by Mission's authentic Border Showdown tortilla chips, the NT3000 enables sports fans to compete for their favorite team in a test of football-throwing accuracy, with pride and cheese-covered snacks on the line.


Click here for $1.00 OFF NachoTron 3000-approved tortilla chips.

'Normal science is all well and good, but it's kind of boring.' -Scientist No. 4 CHAPTER 1 The Cradle of Nacho Innovation

A unique and rather in-depth examination of the mathematical and geographic origins of the NachoTron 3000.

Some years ago, unbeknownst to the general public, we assembled a team of the greatest minds in the world. Physicists. Engineers. Mathematicians. This awesome assemblage of brainpower could have been used to solve the world's energy crisis, to create world peace or even to discover new solar systems. Instead, we used it for nachos.

In a secret laboratory miles beneath the earth's surface, work began. There were huge mathematical equations written on giant chalkboards, countless hours spent staring at computer machines with little flashing buttons and hundreds of cans of off-brand energy drinks consumed. Several years later—victory. The world's first interactive, competitive nacho-making machine was born.

Must Read! -- Hypothesis -- Must Read!

Legal disclaimer: Our technicians reserve the right to refuse service to soccer fans and ferret owners.

'All the naysayers out there can take a flying leap off my nacho supercomputer.' --Scientist No. 3


Two tortilla chips, one supercomputer.

The critical role of authentic tortilla chips in the study and advancement of technology, especially as it relates to interactive, competitive nacho-making machines.

Suggested footwear. Good: Cross trainers, work boots. Bad: loafers, open toe sandals. The NachoTron 3000 runs only on Mission's authentic Border Showdown tortilla chips. Standard-grade tortilla chips have proven scientifically unviable time and time again. That's because only Mission's game-ready chips are created under controlled conditions, accounting for the history of the Kansas-Missouri rivalry. More than a hundred years of fierce competition are cooked into each and every team-colored chip. Subsequently, great precautions have been taken to ensure that the opposing chips are shipped separately and never left unattended in the same room. Plus, they taste good.

Coming soon: White paper about how to integrate nacho technology into your small-to-medium sized business model.


'My advice to all the young minds out there: dont be afraid to get your hands cheesy.' -Fred

Doctors Schwartz (left) and Cunningham (right).

Doctors Schwartz (left) and Cunningham (right). Pioneers of nacho-infused baby foods.

The Bearcats practice

The Bearcats practice in the northeast quadrant of the NachoTron 3000. Research from this scrimmage lead scientists to conclude that football and nachos are mathematically compatible. Offensive line coach Randy Yetman not pictured.

Q: How does the NachoTron 3000 work?
NachoTron 3000 diagram

Q: How many toppings do you need to constitute nachos?
A: Three.

Q: What's the deal with blogging?
A: Well, a blog is a website on which an individual or group of users produces an ongoing narrative. Blogging is the act of adding new material to or regularly updating a blog.

Q: Can the NT 3000 do my math homework?
A: That all depends.

Q: Does the NT 3000 use a specific tortilla chip?
A: Two actually. Mission's authentic Kansas and Missouri Border Showdown tortilla chips.

Q: Should I wait 30 minutes to swim after eating nachos?
A: No. Dive right in.

There is no 'I' in 'Nachos'.

There is no "I" in "Nachos".

Nacho server

Nacho server 834761HDNABP36618358.


Cindy from HR.

Control room No. 52

Control room No. 52 inside the NachoTron 3000 (location withheld).

In the future, nachos will be part of the food pyramid.

The food pyramid

'Football is awesome. Nachos are delicious. You do the math.' -Guy wearing jersey CHAPTER 3 The Edwardian Nacho Era

Dr. Ed Leonard

Dr. Edward Leonard (b. 1947— )
Often credited with pioneering the field of nacho technology, Dr. Edward Leonard, Ph.D. in both mechanical engineering and sports psychology, designed and fabricated the NachoTron 2500 throughout the '87 season. Following the prototype's meltdown, Dr. Leonard requested and was granted medical leave, citing prolonged exposure to burnt queso. He never returned to Mission Laboratories. Early in his self-imposed and indefinite sabbatical from inventing and nachos, Dr. Leonard briefly toyed with the idea of a professional tennis career, but he possessed neither the passion for the game nor the proper equipment.

Dr. Leonard's cat, Moonshadow

Dr. Leonard's cat, Moonshadow (pictured).


The NachoTron 2500, an early prototype, initially yielded a perfect queso-to-tortilla chip ratio but later experienced technical difficulties and completely melted down. Though the reason for said nacho meltdown is still widely disputed, more than a few scientists and snacking experts blame Dr. Ed Leonard's algorithm. One of the doctor's former colleagues, who wishes to remain anonymous, Ratio - Technology:Football:Nachos = 3:7:4insists that Dr. Leonard forgot to carry the two very early in his calculations. Though the switchboard was salvaged in the wreckage, the rest of NT 2500 couldn't be saved.

NT 3000 > Space

A helmet inside a helmet.

A helmet inside a helmet.

CHAPTER 3h See the future, eat the future.

Clearly, Mission Laboratories wrote the book on nacho-spewing super computers. But they're not done yet. Who knows what the future holds? Nachos beamed directly to your mouth? Computer-simulated nacho chips? Hot tub-friendly nachos? The possibilities are endless.

Editor's Note: Mission Laboratories really did write the book on nacho-spewing super computers, aptly titled The Book on Nacho-Spewing Supercomputers.*

*Still unpublished.

Friendly reminder of information tha talso appeared at the top of the website.

Thank you for visiting our nacho supercomputer website on the net. Please fax questions and comments directly to the Nachotron 3000 at (415) 887-7942.